I want to wake up every day feeling sparkly. I want to eat wholesome, organic, free range, loved meals. I want to meditate, do yoga, practice singing, learn music theory, write a journal, manage my money better, heal my back so I can surf again….I wanna do so many things. What I’ve come to realise is that the things I struggle to do the most are all the things which directly affect my personal well-being, physically, emotionally and spiritually.
So, why is it so easy for me to spend my days connecting with people all over the world and creating music to inspire and connect…yet so hard to do my personal practices which would impact my own life in a positive way?
There is something in me which craves my failure, feels safe when I’m not living up to my potential. There is a monster in my skin, sharing space and grabbing hold of the controls. This mental construct must have served me at some point, must have protected me from a world I couldn’t deal with. But now it’s just a monster, devouring energy and defecating sticky glue known as procrastination.
I have this image of me as I want to be. I’m not quite there yet.
And then, this thought arises:
“What if I love myself?”
Along with that thought came the thoughts I speak about in this short video:
I have faith that where I am right now is perfect, who I am is ok, the road has a beautiful view and things are working out as they’re meant to.
I leave you with this question:
How would you treat yourself if you imagined you were someone you loved?
Yours in music and enthusiasm for exploring the shadow as well as the light
Nate
PS: the photo at the top of this post is where I’m sat right now, at a little juice bar in Southern California, waiting for the train to take me to Los Angeles. Troubadour is awandering. Played guitar on a beach last night with a stranger, watching the sun set over San Diego (which means, according to Anchorman, “A Whale’s Vagina”). Amazing 😉
Thank you for sharing this post. Aren’t we our own worst enemies? I am okay at giving advice (and it’s usually good advice too) but I can’t follow it myself. I forgive others, I never forgive myself. And although I know and agree with the things you say in your video (and they come over me like an epiphany form time to time too), I can’t apply them to myself. Life would be so much easier if I could.
So yeah, thank you for reminding me of this. (I know, it was not the post you shared in your mail today and wanted or needed response to, but this touched me on a much deeper and personal level). I hope you are well… as always, even in times of emotional darkness, you blessed me with a smile. (and I had a lovely postcard in my mail yesterday – thank you for that too.)
xx
Cathy
Thanks for this beautiful comment. We’re all working towards loving and accepting ourselves. it’s where the big change happens for sure 🙂
Thank you for sharing <3 I'm reading a lot of the same concepts in a book right now and it's really eye-opening to realize how much I put myself down. I've been trying to visualize what I want to be, but also to love myself for who I am now. It's not easy! To accept where we are on our path and not focus on our shortcomings.
It is a tough thing to acknowledge…but, strangely enough, this morning I did yoga for the first time in AGES. Perhaps the things we are most afraid of just need acknowledgement and awareness to begin dissolving :). Lovely to hear from you as always laura!